Single Parent Struggles

    All the single parents out there, my heart goes out to you today.  This is a day when we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the Savior of us all.  And yet it is one of the toughest days when sharing parenting.  And then throw in  if you are not healthy. 

    I love time with my children and do value that they need time with their dad, too.  In the two years so far of this new journey in life, I have settled into how we spend our day.  Then I woke up with the worst cold I have had in a long time.  The only plus is that it isn't the awful flu many have had and it wasn't one of the boys.

    The tough part of it is what makes my heart remember all those other single parents out there.  On the news last night they talked about not cooking a meal if you are sick.  Not a luxury you have when it is just you.  How do you tell your children who have been looking forward to a big holiday meal that it won't happen.  They live with enough disappointment, they don't need that, too.

    So, you rest and sit around as much of the day as you can, you wash your hands-ALOT-, and pray they won't get it, and make a meal.  It is just the three of us so not spreading to anyone not already in contact with this guck. 

    And, the best part, is when you serve it, they LOVE it!  Yes, my picky meat eater loved the meat!  My picky sides eater loved the sides!  And there is enough left over to make meals for the next few days of break. 

    In the end, it was all worth it, and I feel lifted more than if I had disappointed them.  And, we still remember our Savior is really what it is all about.  We pray and thank Him for all we have.  He knows our single parent struggle and loves us through each day with His strength.  Hang in there and lean on Him.

Peace and Quiet

     Peace, quiet, aaahhh!  How often do we crave it and yet never seem to find it.  Our world is busy! 

This is what I am experiencing tonight.  It has been a long time (maybe 6 weeks) since having this much quiet at my house. 

How often does God wonder when He will get to experience the quiet of our voices, thoughts, and just to sit and be?  Does He have to wait 6 weeks for this from us?  Does He have to wait even longer?  Shouldn't He have that from us every day at some point?

The silence in my home is not always comfortable.  After about an hour, I am creating my own noise.  Radio, t.v., talking to myself out loud, talking to my dog.  Just to fill the space with some sound again.  Why?  Why can we not just let it be so quiet it hurts? 

In our silent times we should be seeking God and sharing our silence with Him.  We might just hear Him and all He has wanted to share with us for so long while so patiently waiting for our silence.

God's Greatness

 

    I had two sets of friends at the Grand Canyon on the same day.  One was visiting and showed pictures from the edge.  The other was hiking his way to the bottom and back up over the weekend. 

    Seeing pictures and looking at how immense it is makes me go to a place of awe.  God allowed this to be created.  Carved over so many years by the river that snakes through it.  Set in place by God's design in how our world works together. 

    Thinking of my friend and his brother sitting at the bottom of this immense expanse left me wondering.  When you wake up the next morning, crawl out of your tent, and look up what do you see?  Endless walls of rock rising so high you can't see the top?  The looking side to side and not seeing an end on either side?  Then the sky above it all. 

    The songs telling of God's love as so deep and so long and so high come to my mind.  Doesn't this show that to us in His creation.  Even the rocks cry out so that there is no doubt that what is there had to be made by God. 

    AWE!  That is the only word to really describe what happens when seeing this amazing part of our earth.

 

????????????

Do you ever have those times when you just don't know what is next or when you will know?  That is where I live right now.

I pray, I ask, I try to guess what God has in store.  So much is up in the air right now and I don't know how to respond to most of it.  I don't know when an answer will come. 

LIMBO!

I know that one day I will know what I need to as I need to.  I will eventually pray within God's will and all will fall into place.  The waiting is the hard part.  The unknown of how it will turn out and the fear of how it might turn out different than I think I want is hard.   Letting my heart hurt in the process is harder yet.

All is God's plan.  It will be good because He is good.

Have you seen God lately?

   Talking with a friend today, I realized that God has been at work in so many little ways for so many days and I just haven't seen it until talking about it all together.  Have you seen God lately?

    I wouldn't say that it isn't that I haven't seen God's hand at work for a long time or anything.  I just might not have really given Him the credit due for so many little answers until today.  He deserves all of our praise each day we get to be living in His presence.

    It starts with God putting my friend into my heart to pray for this morning and me in hers.  Being in the same building every day and yet barely seeing each other for weeks.  A quick passing some days but not a real conversation...until today.  God is giving her lead in taking our church through Easter in a new way, a person to pray for that she just knows a little and no idea why to pray for him only to find out he has been really struggling.  Only God can put that together.  To bring glory to Himself and remind us who our Creator is. 

    I can then say that I don't think I am supposed to lead anything after the women's study is done in a few weeks.  Only to say that I felt lead to organize a prayer time this summer while both pastors will be on a mission trip.  To have God tell me it is my own children I should spend the next season of life teaching then gives me lesson after lesson He wants brought to them.  I love when He gives me a whole lesson and all I have to do is obey and present it just as He leads.  Also, knowing that the women in this study have a desire to meet together throughout summer and to keep going and pushing each other.  Guess maybe when I have prayed what's next, God has given it to me.  A little at a time. 

    Sometimes we just have to sit with someone and start telling about our life and what we have been praying and what we see coming up in the future to see it.  To see God leading and putting together the next step.  Sometimes such baby steps we don't even see what He is working out.  Amazing!!!!  That is all it leaves me saying:   AMAZING!!!!!

Take a Deep Breath...

    Ever had one of those days that just tests you and wears you down?  Not even sure how to respond?  Just had one of those today.

    It started out a good day.  An ordinary day.  Both boys being o.k. and just moving through the day.  Then it happened...

    My younger son decided to defy me.  You could even call it challenge me.  In the privacy of our own home?   NO!  In a scout meeting.  Being physically aggressive to other boys so that they are all saying you are hurting them doesn't allow you to stay in the game, by the way.  "Please go sit down."   "NO!"  And the stance of you can't and won't make me and I am bigger than you.  Count down, 3-2-1," go sit down or no t.v."  "NO!"  "In your room for the rest of the day."  The look, the decision, then the going to sit down.  Finally.  Now the rest of the day looks tough.

    Come home and send him to his room.  Follow through that eats a parent up sometimes.  Needs to happen but we hate it, too.  So will they some day when they are the parent.  Minutes later, the shatter of glass.  Broken window.  Wow, what anger over something that could have been a 5 minute sitting out of one round of game and over.  Now you get to live with the window letting all of the outside into your room.  It is cold today.  Birds love to perch all over our house.  I am sure they will join you. 

    Luck.  One storm window to pull down left.  Guess the outside gets to stay out and the heat gets to stay in.  I am hoping it accomplished what he was hoping for.  He said he didn't know what he was hoping to get by doing that.  I would guess he was hoping I would be really mad.  Instead I am just sad.  Sad for a boy who thinks he can make me quit loving him.  Sad for a boy who is confused and hurt and doesn't know how else to show it.  How can you get mad at that.  I calmly had a good talk with him about it not hurting me but only him. 

    That no matter what he does or says or acts like I will still love him.  And say it again later at bedtime for good measure. 

    And that is how it turned into one of those days that tests you and wears you down.  I am thankful that Jesus is there to pour out to.  To ask what to do to help him.  To ask Him to watch over this boy.  To heal him in a way no one else can.  Thank you, Jesus, for just being there to keep me calm and to ask how to guide my boys.

Religion and Philosophy in the Mediterranean

    Paul was very active in spreading Christianity throughout the Mediterranean.  He established churches in the Southern provinces of Asia Minor (modern day Turkey).  These included Cilicia (Paul's home-Tarsus), Galatia (received one of Paul's earliest letters), and Asia (Ephesus was capital).  He also founded churches in Philippi and Thessalonica.

    Worship would have been filled with the sounds of flutes, smells of meat in the market, and speakers making a good show before the crowd to be praised by them. 

    He was  different sharing the gospel with the Gentile world.  He proclaimed that Jesus was the only Savior, not the emperor or any of their gods.  He spoke powerfully and pointedly to the Mediterranean people.  He offered hope.  

    He traveled with others for protection (Acts 13:5).  The travelers preferred to stay in private homes because the food and accommodations were safer (Acts 16:15, 17:5-7).  The virtue of hospitality was highly prized (1 Peter 4:9).

    The early Christians were willing to take many risks to travel and spread the gospel.  They often sailed on cargo ships (no passenger ships available) which were not an easy way of travel but often the fastest.  They took these risks because they believed they were responding to Jesus' commission to "be witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth" (Acts 1:8).  They had a conviction that there was only one God who created all men so they were responsible to him (Acts17:24-31; 1 Cor 8:4-6). 

    The risks they were willing to take and their willingness to have no permanent home showed how they believed in the gospel.  They believed it was their job to share this with all they could.  So different from us but were they really?

   

   

Forgiveness......and Grace

    I have recently been through a rough week.  One where I spent some of it trying to live in the past and some of it trying to live in the future.  None of it trying to live in the present.  This brings Satan on like nothing else, by the way.

    Ever have those times when you just can't seem to forgive yourself?  Through sharing this week with a great friend, I found out I wasn't forgiving myself.  Do you know God has already forgiven us?  Why then can we sometimes not forgive ourselves?

    I learned that by not forgiving myself, I am refusing what God has already given freely--GRACE!
He can forgive me.  I had already recognized my part in my mess.  I had already asked forgiveness for it.  He has already covered my sin and moved on.  He is already trying to lead me down the path of my life that He has next for me.  I was standing still while He beckoned from ahead.

    Receive the grace God has given.  Grace is the undeserved forgiveness of ALL we have done and could ever do.  It is a free gift just by believing in Him, His son Jesus, and accepting it.  Just reach out and take the present.  Unwrap it and live in a freedom you can't imagine.

Your Calling

  "Do you know what God has called you to?"   This was asked by my pastor in his last sermon.  I do love any time a sermon is spoken or a class is taught  because it makes me think in new ways.  A great time of learning what God is asking and leading.

    I could stand when he asked.  I have had a year and a half to do nothing but pour out to God all that I have in me, all of my questions, and my life that needs remade in a new way.  I know what God is asking of me and has called  me to at this time.  Could you stand and say,  "yes, I know what God has called me to?"  If not, ask Him.  It could be the peace you are searching for.

    As I stood further evaluating what He has called me to (in case I had to answer it out loud right then) I found there are 4 things He is asking of my life right now.

    1.  Raise my 2 boys in the best way I know how.  It will not be the way that is popular, even with them.  Show them Jesus, teach them about God's world, and that the Word is truth.  All this in an attempt to 6  Train a child in the way he should go, When he is old, he will not turn away from it.   Proverbs 22:6

   2.  Teach all that I have learned to someone.  I have done many jobs in my life.  I am happiest and most fulfilled and love to go to work each day when I am with kids.  This is what God has created me for.  Sharing all I can about Him in some way each day with young people who might not see Him or hear of Him otherwise.  Also, to share with those who  have a heart for teaching, too.

    3. Serve in the body of Christ by sharing what I am learning with someone.  Teaching all ages and different groups of people over time has brought me to a place of relying on God continually.  I want to share what He wants me to and with who He wants me to.  I also continue to seek learning for myself to add to my knowledge. I also share what I have experienced of His character in my own life. 

    4.  Continue with mission trips to share with others about Jesus.  I have only gone on one trip at this point but have always supported missions for others.  My boys are getting to a great age to show them the other parts of the world God has created.  Open their hearts to how others live and how to share Jesus with them.  This, of course, ties in with #1 above.

    When asked if we were living out our call it was harder to stay standing.  I knew that God has been working on me about another mission trip and to take my older son with.  I have been dragging my feet.  Obedience is not always the easy path.  I went home and sent an email to get that ball rolling.  Nothing like God using your pastor to call you out in front of all other believers to bring you to follow what He has been asking.  Next time I will be more able to stand completely.

    Will God change some of these things as life goes on and changes?  Don't know.  Luckily if I just continue to have a relationship with Him, seek His will for my life each day, and then listen and be obedient, I will be able to always stand to say, "yeah, I know His call for me!"

   

Do You Know How Amazing God Is?!

  

  Our pastor about a month ago now spoke during part of his sermon about why we aren't amazed by God more often.  I still remember thinking, I am amazed by Him all the time!  I do remember life when I wasn't.  When I forgot to be.  Here are some of the things that have happened in just two weeks of life that just leave me saying, "God, You are sooooo amazing!"

    Two weeks ago the Lord gave me two verses to start praying over my boys daily.  The idea came from a devotion.  The verses chosen were given by God.  One of these verses I had hanging in my dining room, where we spend much time walking past and can see it often, that then said this is one for them.  The other came out of looking for one to use out of the suggestions given.   Both are about overcoming evil with good.  At this same time I felt led to ask some people I hadn't before to pray for my boys and my about to be ex-husband.  Two weeks later, now, I see what God was setting up as true protection for my boys.  Their dad has a new girlfriend in his life who took it upon herself to yell at me in public.  Thankfully my boys were not there to witness this.  It was so full of untruths and evil.  I knew that this was what God was protecting them against.  She has been with them for a month now when they are with him.  This was our first meeting and happened to be taking care of an issue during which their dad and I were fine but she was not.  God is soooo amazing!

    In this same two week time I was praying along with a friend for her son.  He is off at college and just struggling with adjusting but is strong in his faith.  The Lord brought to me what I call a mini sermon along with a picture to draw to illustrate it. I felt I was to write it down and share it with him.   I  passed it to her and told her to share it with him as she saw fit.  It turned out he was to be home to visit in an hour or so.  Later that night I got a text from her.  She shared the conversation they had been having, through text, of course, it is 2014.  It was amazing that God had used just that little bit that I was almost scared to share to open a floodgate that needed opening.  Amazing!

    Also, during this time this same boy had a friend he has known most of his life, done sports with, and done life with ask him to come to a neighboring college and talk to him because he had questions about the Bible.  Of course, he went right away.  He spent a long time explaining why Jesus came and what He has done for us.  Over the next week or so there were many of these conversations.  The roommate of the boy asking also knows Jesus as Savior in his life.  He asked his roommate to borrow his Bible.  The next day these two boys bought their friend his own Bible, had it engraved with his name on the cover, and wrapped it and left it for him.  He was in awe and loved it.  Before was all done, the about to be newly saved boy texted and asked for my friend, the first boys mom, to come and talk with him.  She  went. The four of them sat together as  he accepted Christ.  It was sweet to hear all of this and see how these young boys out on their own for the first time witnessing to their friend.  All are absolutely amazed at our God!

    Just look around.  Listen to your friends.  Open your heart.  Ask Jesus to let you see His presence in our world.  He will and you will live in a place of amazement every day.  The more amazing thing, it isn't even close to what it will be like when we meet Him in heaven one day!