Invitation to His kingdom
Eternity
Today
Health
Absolute joy!
Notes of love
Kisses from my kids
Salvation
writing prompt from ellenstumbo.com/thankfulness-post
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Give Thanks Acrostic
God is #1
Invitation to His kingdom
Victory!
Eternity
Today
Health
Absolute joy!
Notes of love
Kisses from my kids
Salvation
writing prompt from ellenstumbo.com/thankfulness-post
Invitation to His kingdom
Eternity
Today
Health
Absolute joy!
Notes of love
Kisses from my kids
Salvation
writing prompt from ellenstumbo.com/thankfulness-post
Monday, November 18, 2013
I Will Never...(writing prompt)
Oh, how many times I said these words. In the 18 years as a nanny before my own kids, I had it all figured out. I will never passed out of my lips almost daily. Wow, have I ever, plus some!
I was with one family for 10 years. And two other families and a Montessori school. I had many children's parents to say how I would never about.
I will never let my children go without a haircut so long. This poor child can hardly see because of how long their bangs are. It's not that hard to take 30 mins. to get their haircut. Fast forward. My sons often need their haircut for weeks before they get it. Fitting it into a day, week, or month is not easy.
I will never let my kids come home 10 mins. late and not have a consequence. No wonder they behave they way they do for them. If they would just lay down the law the kids would be more respectful toward them. Spoken like a real pro, huh? My oldest son is often 5-10 mins. late, apologizes, and we move on. Maybe he would show more respect and less mouth if I were tougher with this. Or, it has a lot to do with the age and fact that hormone surges start at the same time we are letting them experiment with some freedom. Hmmm.
I will never let my kids go without washing their sheets every week. If they complain about being itchy in their bed, I will take care of it. Then I got the hyper sensitive tactile kid. Fresh sheets just put on and he is all about how he can't sleep on them because they make him itch. Please put the blanket that is soft on top and I will sleep on that. O.k., so I am not changing the bed daily because of Mr. Picky. Guess I have joined the ranks of that mom.
I will never let my kids sleep all night with their light on. Don't you know they can't sleep well and will still be tired in the morning. Oh, and by the way, they will never sleep in my bed to help with this either. My oldest slept with us until he was 6. Pretty much nightly and all night. At 6 he started to some nights sleep in his bed all night. I, of course, panicked at that because something must be wrong. He has a night light that looks like day light in his room and yet many times I find at some point in the night he turned on his overhead light and slept. Guess what, he was more rested than he would have been laying in fear all night. I still slept fine, and our day starts.
If only I still had it figured out like I did before they were mine. And before Jesus showed me judging others may not be the best choice of how to go about life. All the I will nevers are now being passed on to me. I am now on the receiving end. Many neighbors with younger kids point fingers and say it. And yet as their kids are reaching the ages mine were when they moved in, they are. And those with older kids point and say mine didn't do that when they were that age or that they didn't do it at all. We were outside with our then younger children. Guess what, they did do those things at the ages mine are now, and they did do those things, I saw it.
As long as life goes on we will always say I will never about something. Few of those things will you actually never. And I still think back to the wisdom that the now friend that I nannied for used to share about parenting. She was able to see what really mattered to her for her children to learn and be like. The rest she was able to let slide. I try to do much of the same. It is part of being the parent and showing love to your children.
I will never be one of those bloggers...http://www.ellenstumbo.com/i-really-thought-i-would-never-end-up-here/
I was with one family for 10 years. And two other families and a Montessori school. I had many children's parents to say how I would never about.
I will never let my children go without a haircut so long. This poor child can hardly see because of how long their bangs are. It's not that hard to take 30 mins. to get their haircut. Fast forward. My sons often need their haircut for weeks before they get it. Fitting it into a day, week, or month is not easy.
I will never let my kids come home 10 mins. late and not have a consequence. No wonder they behave they way they do for them. If they would just lay down the law the kids would be more respectful toward them. Spoken like a real pro, huh? My oldest son is often 5-10 mins. late, apologizes, and we move on. Maybe he would show more respect and less mouth if I were tougher with this. Or, it has a lot to do with the age and fact that hormone surges start at the same time we are letting them experiment with some freedom. Hmmm.
I will never let my kids go without washing their sheets every week. If they complain about being itchy in their bed, I will take care of it. Then I got the hyper sensitive tactile kid. Fresh sheets just put on and he is all about how he can't sleep on them because they make him itch. Please put the blanket that is soft on top and I will sleep on that. O.k., so I am not changing the bed daily because of Mr. Picky. Guess I have joined the ranks of that mom.
I will never let my kids sleep all night with their light on. Don't you know they can't sleep well and will still be tired in the morning. Oh, and by the way, they will never sleep in my bed to help with this either. My oldest slept with us until he was 6. Pretty much nightly and all night. At 6 he started to some nights sleep in his bed all night. I, of course, panicked at that because something must be wrong. He has a night light that looks like day light in his room and yet many times I find at some point in the night he turned on his overhead light and slept. Guess what, he was more rested than he would have been laying in fear all night. I still slept fine, and our day starts.
If only I still had it figured out like I did before they were mine. And before Jesus showed me judging others may not be the best choice of how to go about life. All the I will nevers are now being passed on to me. I am now on the receiving end. Many neighbors with younger kids point fingers and say it. And yet as their kids are reaching the ages mine were when they moved in, they are. And those with older kids point and say mine didn't do that when they were that age or that they didn't do it at all. We were outside with our then younger children. Guess what, they did do those things at the ages mine are now, and they did do those things, I saw it.
As long as life goes on we will always say I will never about something. Few of those things will you actually never. And I still think back to the wisdom that the now friend that I nannied for used to share about parenting. She was able to see what really mattered to her for her children to learn and be like. The rest she was able to let slide. I try to do much of the same. It is part of being the parent and showing love to your children.
I will never be one of those bloggers...http://www.ellenstumbo.com/i-really-thought-i-would-never-end-up-here/
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Silent, Masked
A conversation with the teacher I work with brought this post. We are in a special education classroom. We have spent time with kids with all sorts of delays. Many of them what we call silent or masked. She sometimes forgets that I am the parent of one of those kids. She never says anything hurtful, only that sometimes it would be easier for the families if the delays were for a noticeable reason to the outside world.
This leads me to my part in this conversation of agreeing with her. My second son was born with hydrocephalus (water on the brain). No reason except a birth defect to be found for it. Still didn't stop the years of guilt about my diet or energy level during pregnancy ( I had a very active 2 year old). I often have wished that his delay was something outward that people could see. His shunt was placed when he was young enough that he caught up with his head growth by 2 years old.
There are many outward things that people did and do see. The fits he used to throw everywhere we went and constantly. If I had ever seen them coming or could figure out what sparked them, believe me, I would have done what I could to control the situation. These were nothing compared to the ones we got at home (lasting 30 mins. every 10-15 mins.). They were loud, involved kicking, screaming, biting, and trying to bang your head with his. I know by the fact that DHS was called on us, that people saw it as us hurting him because of how we would have to carry him out of places any way we could get hold of him. He wouldn't stay in a cart, so just driving him out wasn't usually an option.
Many years and much work by many people altogether, his behaviors look much different. I do know I am lucky in this. I know many of you who deal with our younger behaviors your child's whole life. I try hard on my toughest days to remember where we have been and where many people still are. He now sits in a regular education classroom with only a behavior teacher's backup when needed. This is only when he refuses to work and just shuts down and is asked to take his work to the other classroom until the next class period. In third grade, this very rarely happens. The behaviors look more like anger that still often doesn't make sense to the situation. Blaming others for many things he was at fault for. This seems normal for a 9 year old, you say. Maybe, except it is every day in every situation. Very different than my oldest and all other 9 year olds I have dealt with. He decides to act this out by doing things like stuffing full rolls of toilet paper down each toilet in the bathroom. MORE THAN ONCE, MORE THAN TWICE, THREE TIMES! This buys you a ticket to the principal's office for your lunch and recess. Not a great idea.
I so often am jealous of my friends who have children with Down's Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, and any outwardly seen delay. At least when they act up in some way, people don't judge you the bad parent of the year. I know other challenges come with this. I have been around long enough to know that. Just some days when the battle is still so outward and loud (Reno deals with nothing quietly) and no one can see anything other than an unruly child with an obviously far too lenient and maybe uncaring parent, I wish for that short time that it was obvious to the rest of the world.
In the end I am thankful for the child I have. I am thankful that he has the ability to come so far. I am so glad that I have had the speech therapists, OT, and teachers he has had that have helped him become who he is. They have helped me with new ways of helping him at home. It has definitely taken a village and will continue to. There is still so far to go to hopefully let go of the anger that makes no sense some days.
This is why I, and many in my classroom, say it is sometimes easier when the delay is "seen". People are more willing to help and give you a break when things don't go well. And give the kids the help they need and long for instead of seeing them as the tough kid in the classroom.
I will let God lead my son, me, my family. He will show me how to teach them about Jesus and how to live as He wants. Praying that He is invited into their hearts for their whole life. That He will be the one to help Reno become who God wants him to be. I will rejoice in being given the "hidden delay" to deal with. Guess He knew I would be able to meet the challenge or it wouldn't have been given to me. This alone is a privilege, to be trusted with a tough task by our Creator. What trust! I can only trust Him that much in return. And be glad my son is who he is even silent and masked to the outside world.
This leads me to my part in this conversation of agreeing with her. My second son was born with hydrocephalus (water on the brain). No reason except a birth defect to be found for it. Still didn't stop the years of guilt about my diet or energy level during pregnancy ( I had a very active 2 year old). I often have wished that his delay was something outward that people could see. His shunt was placed when he was young enough that he caught up with his head growth by 2 years old.
There are many outward things that people did and do see. The fits he used to throw everywhere we went and constantly. If I had ever seen them coming or could figure out what sparked them, believe me, I would have done what I could to control the situation. These were nothing compared to the ones we got at home (lasting 30 mins. every 10-15 mins.). They were loud, involved kicking, screaming, biting, and trying to bang your head with his. I know by the fact that DHS was called on us, that people saw it as us hurting him because of how we would have to carry him out of places any way we could get hold of him. He wouldn't stay in a cart, so just driving him out wasn't usually an option.
Many years and much work by many people altogether, his behaviors look much different. I do know I am lucky in this. I know many of you who deal with our younger behaviors your child's whole life. I try hard on my toughest days to remember where we have been and where many people still are. He now sits in a regular education classroom with only a behavior teacher's backup when needed. This is only when he refuses to work and just shuts down and is asked to take his work to the other classroom until the next class period. In third grade, this very rarely happens. The behaviors look more like anger that still often doesn't make sense to the situation. Blaming others for many things he was at fault for. This seems normal for a 9 year old, you say. Maybe, except it is every day in every situation. Very different than my oldest and all other 9 year olds I have dealt with. He decides to act this out by doing things like stuffing full rolls of toilet paper down each toilet in the bathroom. MORE THAN ONCE, MORE THAN TWICE, THREE TIMES! This buys you a ticket to the principal's office for your lunch and recess. Not a great idea.
I so often am jealous of my friends who have children with Down's Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, and any outwardly seen delay. At least when they act up in some way, people don't judge you the bad parent of the year. I know other challenges come with this. I have been around long enough to know that. Just some days when the battle is still so outward and loud (Reno deals with nothing quietly) and no one can see anything other than an unruly child with an obviously far too lenient and maybe uncaring parent, I wish for that short time that it was obvious to the rest of the world.
In the end I am thankful for the child I have. I am thankful that he has the ability to come so far. I am so glad that I have had the speech therapists, OT, and teachers he has had that have helped him become who he is. They have helped me with new ways of helping him at home. It has definitely taken a village and will continue to. There is still so far to go to hopefully let go of the anger that makes no sense some days.
This is why I, and many in my classroom, say it is sometimes easier when the delay is "seen". People are more willing to help and give you a break when things don't go well. And give the kids the help they need and long for instead of seeing them as the tough kid in the classroom.
I will let God lead my son, me, my family. He will show me how to teach them about Jesus and how to live as He wants. Praying that He is invited into their hearts for their whole life. That He will be the one to help Reno become who God wants him to be. I will rejoice in being given the "hidden delay" to deal with. Guess He knew I would be able to meet the challenge or it wouldn't have been given to me. This alone is a privilege, to be trusted with a tough task by our Creator. What trust! I can only trust Him that much in return. And be glad my son is who he is even silent and masked to the outside world.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Choices...
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http://www.ellenstumbo.com/we-chose-to-adopt-a-child-special-needs/
Monday, November 4, 2013
By a Thread
A separation that was unwanted, unexpected, and so against how I thought life would be. I am holding on...
Little boys who think they are big. Not big enough to deal well with all that life has just dealt them. I can't understand it most days, how can they? We are holding on...
One child who has such animosity toward me. I give him the care and love that I know how each day. Try to keep my patience no matter what he brings that day. Try to stay consistent knowing it is best for him. He throws all the "bad" that he can think of each day at me. I am holding on...
A friend who shares a heart wrenching part of her life. All I can do is pray and hope God hears and reveals Himself in it. That He brings clarity to her. I am sad with her and can't imagine being where she is. I am holding on...
In it all I know that the thread I am holding on to is attached to Jesus. Maybe His robe, maybe His hair, maybe He is just holding the other end. All I know is it is how I do each day. I am holding on...ellenstumbo.com/im-living-the-contradiction
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