Take a Deep Breath...

    Ever had one of those days that just tests you and wears you down?  Not even sure how to respond?  Just had one of those today.

    It started out a good day.  An ordinary day.  Both boys being o.k. and just moving through the day.  Then it happened...

    My younger son decided to defy me.  You could even call it challenge me.  In the privacy of our own home?   NO!  In a scout meeting.  Being physically aggressive to other boys so that they are all saying you are hurting them doesn't allow you to stay in the game, by the way.  "Please go sit down."   "NO!"  And the stance of you can't and won't make me and I am bigger than you.  Count down, 3-2-1," go sit down or no t.v."  "NO!"  "In your room for the rest of the day."  The look, the decision, then the going to sit down.  Finally.  Now the rest of the day looks tough.

    Come home and send him to his room.  Follow through that eats a parent up sometimes.  Needs to happen but we hate it, too.  So will they some day when they are the parent.  Minutes later, the shatter of glass.  Broken window.  Wow, what anger over something that could have been a 5 minute sitting out of one round of game and over.  Now you get to live with the window letting all of the outside into your room.  It is cold today.  Birds love to perch all over our house.  I am sure they will join you. 

    Luck.  One storm window to pull down left.  Guess the outside gets to stay out and the heat gets to stay in.  I am hoping it accomplished what he was hoping for.  He said he didn't know what he was hoping to get by doing that.  I would guess he was hoping I would be really mad.  Instead I am just sad.  Sad for a boy who thinks he can make me quit loving him.  Sad for a boy who is confused and hurt and doesn't know how else to show it.  How can you get mad at that.  I calmly had a good talk with him about it not hurting me but only him. 

    That no matter what he does or says or acts like I will still love him.  And say it again later at bedtime for good measure. 

    And that is how it turned into one of those days that tests you and wears you down.  I am thankful that Jesus is there to pour out to.  To ask what to do to help him.  To ask Him to watch over this boy.  To heal him in a way no one else can.  Thank you, Jesus, for just being there to keep me calm and to ask how to guide my boys.